Unexpected Idiot In Bagging Area…

Supermarket Checkout

I was using a supermarket self-checkout today, processing my items to the repetitive drone of “please place your item in the bagging area.” Next to me, an older couple were battling to put through their items of shopping, some (most) of which included bottles of alcohol. Most of you will be aware that when you buy alcohol at a self-checkout the attendant has to check your age. So, in this instance, their checkout light went red and a message popped up on their screen. Here is a transcript of the conversation that followed:

Lady: “Why is it telling us that we have to wait for assistance?”
Attendant: “We have to check your age to ensure you aren’t underage”
Lady: “Ah, ok. I suppose I should take it as a compliment, really? Ha ha ha…”

For some reason, I took umbrage at her stupid remark. I just about managed to hold back from vociferating in response:

“So, you think this piece of electronic equipment has a brain, do you? That’s mistake number one. Mistake number two is thinking that if it did have a brain, it would be stupid enough to think that you, a haggard old alcoholic woman who smells of musky piss and morning fresh, are actually a voluptuous 17-year-old woman with the face of an angel.”

“Oh, and, by the way, you should assume that the card payment machine thinks you’re trustworthy, that the supermarket’s automatic door likes you and that your trolley knows where your car is parked. Good luck!”

4 thoughts on “Unexpected Idiot In Bagging Area…

  1. After using one of the self-checkout machines for the first time at a Kroger earlier today I can attest that the machine has more of a brain than I do.

    I must say that I’ll pass on the self-checkouts next time.

  2. Greg,

    Thanks for your comment. I have to say that I did, at first, hate supermarket self-checkouts (they seemed very impersonal). However, I’ve found that when there are queues of people at the regular checkouts, they can be very handy. I sometimes make it my mission to bamboozle and break them (gives the human interaction when the attendant comes over to fix them).

    Bruce

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