Monthly Archives: December 2009

The Christmas Word Tree

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So, what does Christmas mean to people? As a festive experiment, I used the information provided by Wikipedia’s Christmas article to produce this . By inputting the text into the fantastic tool at http://www.wordle.net, I was able to produce a tree shaped word cloud. I then used some basic Photoshop Christmas artistry for extra effect.

The more frequently a word features in the Wikipedia Christmas article, the more prominently it appears in the tree.

The Nutz Christmas Word Tree

The Christmas Word Tree

The Christmas Word Tree

As an amateur writer, I enjoy reading your comments. So I'd love you to leave one below. Oh, and please follow me on Facebook by clicking through to my Facebook page and hitting the 'like' button. I'll give you a big, sloppy kiss if you do. :)

The Ultimate ‘Secret Santa’ Gift

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So, you’re taking part in the office Secret Santa for this year. You’ve pulled the name ‘Derek’ out of the hat and you really have no clue what present to buy him. You don’t know much about the guy, other than that he is impartial to a curry on any night ending in ‘y’. Last week you went into the office toilet straight after him and, well, it smelled like an old tramp’s jockstrap in there (I’m only guessing at how bad that smells, by the way!).

Fear not, for help is at hand. I have found a way of killing two turtle doves with one stone. Here is the perfect gift for you to give to Derek; one that will make your (and every other office worker’s) daily toilet breaks much more bearable. Welcome to the world of:

Poo Pourri… “spritz the bowl before you go and no-one else will ever know”… (unless you then proceed to shit on the floor, presumably)

Poo Pourri

Poo Pourri

As an amateur writer, I enjoy reading your comments. So I'd love you to leave one below. Oh, and please follow me on Facebook by clicking through to my Facebook page and hitting the 'like' button. I'll give you a big, sloppy kiss if you do. :)

The Self-Importance Of Facebook, Twitter

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Self Important Flag-Bearer

Is Social Networking Breeding a New Culture Of Self-importance?

So, you’ve got 200 Facebook friends and 20 Twitter followers. You feel important – right up there, in celebrity status, alongside Tom Cruise, Pope Benedict XVI and… Susan Boyle. People seem to want to follow your every move – and you oblige by telling them when you eat breakfast, visit the toilet and wash your best pair of pants.

Then, one day, you go through your friends list and it hits you – 195 of your 200 Facebook friends are actually made up of the following: Continue reading →

As an amateur writer, I enjoy reading your comments. So I'd love you to leave one below. Oh, and please follow me on Facebook by clicking through to my Facebook page and hitting the 'like' button. I'll give you a big, sloppy kiss if you do. :)

Traditional British Pub Quiz Night

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Can I have a ‘p’ please Bob? No, you bloody can’t, Bill, you’ll just have to wait for the interval. Monday night wasn’t Blockbusters for the over 70s, it was Quiz night at a traditional old pub in Hastings Old Town.

I joined a team of regulars to do brainiac battle, in what turned out to be a rather competitive and controversial contest of knowledge and wisdom. Just to clarify the difference between the two – knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit salad. Got it? Good. Continue reading →

As an amateur writer, I enjoy reading your comments. So I'd love you to leave one below. Oh, and please follow me on Facebook by clicking through to my Facebook page and hitting the 'like' button. I'll give you a big, sloppy kiss if you do. :)